P. Michael Campbell  has published poems. Lots of them. Really.

"No Erotica Please" (The Still Unfinished 2012 New Year's Version)

“So what are four lesbians from the early 20th century doing on St. Bart’s...now, when there’s a nuclear war, like why are they there?” a lawyer asked Mr. Prince, who responded: “Your guess is as good as mine. That’s what I do, I make things up.”                 

-- New York Times, 1/1/2012 (http://nyti.ms/u1izvS)

"I am accepting short fiction and non-fiction as well as poetry. 
Simultaneous submissions accepted. No erotica please..."

--Kathy Hein (for  circumambulations@hotmail.com)

1. "No Erotica Please"

Story of my life.
As the joke goes.

A Run-On Sentence
Ran into a bar, etc.

-

From this morning's New York Times: "In March a federal district court judge in Manhattan ruled that Mr. Prince — whose career was built on appropriating imagery created by others — broke the law by taking photographs from a book about Rastafarians and using them without permission to create the collages and a series of paintings based on them, which quickly sold for serious money even by today’s gilded art-world standards: almost $2.5 million for one of the works."

-

"Dad, what does interp-
Retation mean?" "Son,"

I say, with no intention
Of muddling matters, "A

Modernist walked into
A wall. (Et cetera.)"

-

A Post Modernist and
A humor theorist walked

Into a poem. Et cetera.

And, that night, after

Several mixed drinks and
Some close dancing...
-
"Evolutionary Psychology,
Part One: The Science

Of Human Nature. Lecture
Two: Investigating the

Unmentionable." Sex
And such from an academic

Perspective. (Just a lecture,
You see, that I listen to

On my drive to school,
One that I checked

Out from Chapin Library,
Along with a book

On hillbilly music in
California and two DVDs.)

2. "That's What I Do. I Make Things Up"

Do you prefer the gothic
Or the plain style? Donne

Or Jonson? Stevens or Pound?
Early or later Beatles?

-

Joke of my life,
As the story goes.
-
"The Adaptive Mind"
Danced into a bar

Naked (of course) and
Put its clothes on.

3. The New Year's Rewrite

It's New Year's Day
2-0-1-2, as I sit down-

Stairs typing quietly,
While the family sleeps.

A quiet morning, except
It is almost afternoon

And someone is almost
Certain to wake up.

-
Michael Campbell

Kathy, is it too late to send along my poem called "No Erotica Please"?

Kathy Hein

Not at all. You have until Jan. 1st.

-

"And indeed there will be
Time...for a hundred

Indecisions, / And for
A hundred visions and

Revisions." (The women
On the TV set / Talk

Of T.S. Eliot.) etc.
"End of Disc Two."

-

Three guys walk into
A bar, except the

County is "dry," and
The guy is me, and

I am by myself. Drum
Roll. "Son, agency is

A necessary illusion"
Et cetera. Et cetera.

4. "Four Lesbians From the Early 20th Century"

Actual joke: A guy walks
Into a bar, sits at the bar,

Orders two drinks, drinks
One and pours the other

On his hand. Rinse and
Repeat. Finally, the bar-

Tender asks him, "Buddy,
Why do keep ordering

Drinks and pouring them
On your hand?" Oh,

You've heard this one
Before. Sorry...

5. We Have Only Each Other, Or Not

Polonius walks into a parody
(As if one was not enough?)

And commences his lecture
On supply side tragedy.

"Agency," he says, "is an allusion."
And, stopping for effect,

Stares out at those who stare
Back, and those that crowd

The corners of the hall, hanging
On his every word. " (Young

Hamlet sits in the back texting.)
"To thine ownself be true."

-

Sir, I would recommend the
Hair of the dog, this morning

That is almost afternoon,
This day that is already almost

Over, that is not all that different
From every other day of the year.

-

The Times again: "About as close as they get to pinning him down is that he wanted to use the borrowed pictures to explore his fascination with the painting of Willem de Kooning and also thought of his collages and paintings as part of an idea for a movie about a post-apocalyptic world in which Rastafarians, famous literary lesbians and others commandeer hotels on St. Bart’s."

-

Sit down. Relax. Have
Another White Russian.

And another. This one against
The darkness, and this one

Against the light, this one
For the year that's over,

And this one, I pray, for
The years to come.

“So what are four lesbians from the early 20th century doing on St. Bart’s...now, when there’s a nuclear war, like why are they there?” a lawyer asked Mr. Prince, who responded: “Your guess is as good as mine. That’s what I do, I make things up.”